So lately, I have been hearing a lot of parents comment about their child's behavior. Mostly they consist of, "I wish my child said things like that", or "I wish I could get my child to do things like that", or "I wish my child knew how to act that way". My reaction to all that is, "well, what are you teaching your child?!" I know children are not robots and they do not do everything we tell them to do, but telling your child something is totally different from teaching them something. This is so simple, especially if it is coming from me. We all know I am not the person to be coming up with something profound, trust me on this. In no way am I a parent who thinks they have it all figured out, not even close! I just believe that it is so important for us as parents to lead by example. If I am constantly reminding my son to say "please" and "thank you", but am not saying it myself why should I expect him to follow through? I cannot expect him to be a great helper and to think of others if I am not practicing what I preach. We've all heard it, "children are like sponges, they absorb everything", it is so, so true. I love my dad dearly, but I do remember him always telling me "Do as I say, and not as I do". Well, sorry dad, this is one piece of advice that I totally don't agree with. Hope you forgive me! :) Our children are totally going to learn from what we do, good or bad. Maybe not 100% everything we do, but we do not have control over choosing which habit good or bad that they pick up from us, so we should try to be conscious of our decisions and attitudes on a daily basis. Believe me, I'm taking my own advice, because I definitely am not always aware of my attitude! My husband can testify to this with a big "AMEN!" (as I'm sure he did as soon as he read this). Remember though, it can be as simple as always being sincerely gracious to your waiter at a restaurant, holding the door for anyone you can, recognizing and showing thankfulness when someone else does an act of kindness for you, asking your child to hold the door for someone or help someone in need at the grocery store or wherever you are. They are always paying attention, always absorbing. It's Christmas time, and this is a great time to teach your child about being thankful and generous. Our children (every one's children I know, including my own) are very spoiled compared to other parts of the world. They receive way too many gifts in my opinion, and it's like the more gifts they receive the less appreciative they become. It's overwhelming the amount of presents they get and every Christmas and/or birthday it's like they become desensitized to all that they have. It's really, really sad. This year we have agreed to give each child three gifts from Chris and I. We give three gifts to signify the three gifts given to baby Jesus by the wise men. After all, this is why we celebrate Christmas and why we give gifts, right? A friend of mine does this and I loved the idea so I borrowed it from her. Much thanks to Jen! I also believe that it is very important that your child stop and say "thank you" before opening another gift. To me it just shows appreciation for each individual gift they receive. There are many other points I could touch on about how we can use this time of the year to teach our children, but this post is becoming way longer than expected. Sorry, kinda venting. This stuff is just really important to my family and I. So speaking of my family, I am reminded of something that happened at my five year old sons school last week. I went to pick Cale up from school and as we were walking out of his class, one of his classmates was jumping up and down trying to reach something in his cubby. Dying to get home from a busy day of work, I zoomed right by and proceeded to the door. Cale stopped me, and said "Mom, could you help Logan get his paper please?". I was so proud of him for recognizing that when someone needs help with something, that we should stop, no matter how busy we are, and help them. When you teach your child these things, you'll find that in certain instances, they will be the ones teaching you a few things as well. You cannot expect your children to respect you or others if you are not showing respect yourself. Constantly teach them and show them generous, respectful, and grateful behavior and I think you'll be surprised and very proud of the child you are raising. (not saying you wouldn't be proud anyway, but think of the difference it could make.) I also like to think of the man or woman they will someday become because of the teachings we impress on them. Their spouses will surely thank us someday! ;) Hope someone learned something from this, I definitely did just from typing it! There are always areas we can improve in, no one is perfect and no one should expect to be. On that note, HAPPY PARENTING!
Monday, December 13, 2010
Do as I say, AND as I do!
So lately, I have been hearing a lot of parents comment about their child's behavior. Mostly they consist of, "I wish my child said things like that", or "I wish I could get my child to do things like that", or "I wish my child knew how to act that way". My reaction to all that is, "well, what are you teaching your child?!" I know children are not robots and they do not do everything we tell them to do, but telling your child something is totally different from teaching them something. This is so simple, especially if it is coming from me. We all know I am not the person to be coming up with something profound, trust me on this. In no way am I a parent who thinks they have it all figured out, not even close! I just believe that it is so important for us as parents to lead by example. If I am constantly reminding my son to say "please" and "thank you", but am not saying it myself why should I expect him to follow through? I cannot expect him to be a great helper and to think of others if I am not practicing what I preach. We've all heard it, "children are like sponges, they absorb everything", it is so, so true. I love my dad dearly, but I do remember him always telling me "Do as I say, and not as I do". Well, sorry dad, this is one piece of advice that I totally don't agree with. Hope you forgive me! :) Our children are totally going to learn from what we do, good or bad. Maybe not 100% everything we do, but we do not have control over choosing which habit good or bad that they pick up from us, so we should try to be conscious of our decisions and attitudes on a daily basis. Believe me, I'm taking my own advice, because I definitely am not always aware of my attitude! My husband can testify to this with a big "AMEN!" (as I'm sure he did as soon as he read this). Remember though, it can be as simple as always being sincerely gracious to your waiter at a restaurant, holding the door for anyone you can, recognizing and showing thankfulness when someone else does an act of kindness for you, asking your child to hold the door for someone or help someone in need at the grocery store or wherever you are. They are always paying attention, always absorbing. It's Christmas time, and this is a great time to teach your child about being thankful and generous. Our children (every one's children I know, including my own) are very spoiled compared to other parts of the world. They receive way too many gifts in my opinion, and it's like the more gifts they receive the less appreciative they become. It's overwhelming the amount of presents they get and every Christmas and/or birthday it's like they become desensitized to all that they have. It's really, really sad. This year we have agreed to give each child three gifts from Chris and I. We give three gifts to signify the three gifts given to baby Jesus by the wise men. After all, this is why we celebrate Christmas and why we give gifts, right? A friend of mine does this and I loved the idea so I borrowed it from her. Much thanks to Jen! I also believe that it is very important that your child stop and say "thank you" before opening another gift. To me it just shows appreciation for each individual gift they receive. There are many other points I could touch on about how we can use this time of the year to teach our children, but this post is becoming way longer than expected. Sorry, kinda venting. This stuff is just really important to my family and I. So speaking of my family, I am reminded of something that happened at my five year old sons school last week. I went to pick Cale up from school and as we were walking out of his class, one of his classmates was jumping up and down trying to reach something in his cubby. Dying to get home from a busy day of work, I zoomed right by and proceeded to the door. Cale stopped me, and said "Mom, could you help Logan get his paper please?". I was so proud of him for recognizing that when someone needs help with something, that we should stop, no matter how busy we are, and help them. When you teach your child these things, you'll find that in certain instances, they will be the ones teaching you a few things as well. You cannot expect your children to respect you or others if you are not showing respect yourself. Constantly teach them and show them generous, respectful, and grateful behavior and I think you'll be surprised and very proud of the child you are raising. (not saying you wouldn't be proud anyway, but think of the difference it could make.) I also like to think of the man or woman they will someday become because of the teachings we impress on them. Their spouses will surely thank us someday! ;) Hope someone learned something from this, I definitely did just from typing it! There are always areas we can improve in, no one is perfect and no one should expect to be. On that note, HAPPY PARENTING!
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